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Gym, the final frontier March 25, 2009

Posted by baldricman in Baldric-Man, General.
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I’ve spent many years hurling abuse, snide comments, and sarcastic witticisms at gym-goers, and I’ve enjoyed it. The very notion of spending hundreds a month to do exercise that could be done outdoors in fresh air, and with a view, just seems silly. (Of course I concede the point that your only idea of a good view might involve a pair of lycra tights…. in which case its a fair call)

That, and the subtle personality changes that many gym-converts seem to undergo: they start wearing stretchy t-shirts, and seem to look down a lot more. They also pick up everyday objects like coffee mugs and pencils in an entirely new manner (often with a slight, barely perceptible grimace)

And then, early this morning, at the butt-crack of dawn, bleary-eyed and feeling a little sheepish, I find myself  in one. A gym that is, not a pair of lycra tights.

I’ve come armed with an excuse however: Medical Reasons. (Quick history lesson: last year I tore ligaments in my ankle, and sustained some fairly major bone bruising, and have pretty much been out of action for about 6 months. My physio has now, er, “requested” that I join a gym and start getting some low-impact exercise in, that I can’t safely get in my usual pursuits such as hiking)

My first session turns out to just be an assessment, involving various measurements for weight, bicep-size etc (I notice the trainer debating whether to use the skin-fold measuring device to achieve this), calculations for percentage body fat, blood pressure and resting heart rate etc. (all of which turns out pretty well, I’m relieved to report), and then on to some cycling, press-ups and push-ups, and lastly one horrible squat-type-thing. 

And to end it all, a nice hot communal shower. So there I am in all my technicolour glory, shampoo in my eyes, sharing a shower with 4 wealthy guys all close to retirement age, discussing yesterday’s interest rate cut in relation to the upcoming elections. 

All in all, the experience was not that bad, perhaps even pleasant, and my trainer has already conned me into agreeing to start eating breakfast, and has me believing I’ll be looking like Arnie in 3 months, tops.
So I’ve decided that if I’m going to do this, I might as well dive right in and try enjoy it: tomorrow I have my first real session, even earlier than today (I should be showering with the butt-crack of Don…sorry, dawn). And then I’m off this afternoon to buy some stretchy shirts, so I can join in the narcisism-fun.

My Inspiration

My Inspiration

PS: I still think gym is silly, just for the record. Ok?

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Comments»

1. Monare - March 25, 2009

I hope you are going there to gain muscles – I can see you already have a smurf as your inspiration. Take it easy on the ankle, avoid all the eye contact, be alert in all rooms there…

baldricman - March 25, 2009

lol @ “avoid all eye contact”!! Classic!
Thanks for stopping by 🙂

2. dweeg - March 25, 2009

baldric low impact exersising….get a surf board, paddle out and dont fall off…no impact just fun

3. Allen - March 25, 2009

Crack of Don, AHHHAhahahaHAAHAEHAEHAHAHaahhahahahahah!!!!!

Seriously, though… our clan have always had a tendency to vanish when viewed from the side. We have to avoid the plug-hole while showering and never use a hair-dryer without something to hold on to. This can only be good for you 🙂

baldricman - March 25, 2009

Yeah, speaking of which, showering is like an extra dose of exercise for me…. I have to run around under the shower-head to get wet 😦

Deems - March 25, 2009

LOL – thought the extra exercise in the shower was running around from the other rich old men? 😉

Practicing for Pollsmoor, perhaps?

baldricman - March 25, 2009

That wouldn’t help much: Rich prisoners get medical parole, remember?

4. Andrew - March 25, 2009

If you exercise right, you’ll wake up in the morning unable to move. The stiffer the better. But stiffness after exercise will only last a couple weeks.

I remember being advised to gulp down 4 raw eggs every morning. I can understand why. But yeesh.

baldricman - March 25, 2009

4 eggs? Raw?? Yeees, but no.
No.

5. ryancalder - March 25, 2009

Dweeg – c’mon… admit it. How many times have you not fallen off? Go on then… tell all.
Andrew, I’m with Baldric. No.
Baldric, I’m with Allen – *Don’s crack*!!!
But I’m super impressed Baldric. Good on ya. Not that Baldric-Man needs any workout at all, surely? I mean, all a superhero needs is a charming personality and some chewing gum in most life or death situations… not so?

6. Ryan - March 26, 2009

Actually, that should read: “charming personality, lycra tights and some chewing gum”. 🙂

baldricman - March 26, 2009

Damn straight young man: I don’t need to go to gym. I do however *choose* to go, purely for philanthropic reasons of course.
*coff*

7. Gym, a Brave New World « Baldric’s Blog - March 26, 2009

[…] was my first “real” gym session this morning (yesterday being just the assessment – read about it here). And as promised, I was up even earlier, to be at the gym at 5:45AM. (What the […]

8. Gym, and other Things « Baldric’s Blog - April 30, 2009

[…] though, if you haven’t already, check out my earlier posts: Gym, the Final Frontier and Gym, a Brave New […]


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