Gym, a Brave New World March 26, 2009Posted by baldricman in Baldric-Man, General.
Tags: fitness, gym, muscle, trainer
Brave? Bah! I barely held on to my dignity today. It was my first “real” gym session this morning (yesterday being just the assessment – read about it here). And as promised, I was up even earlier, to be at the gym at 5:45AM. (What the heck??)
So my personal trainer Suresh, bless his soul, starts me off with a light warm-up on the treadmill. Now, I haven’t done a lot of significant walking on my ankle for the past 6 months, and even though its fine, I’m still a bit tentative. Oh, and I’ve never been on a treadmill before. (They are the epitome of uselessness, in my opinion…. but I have to say, the heartrate monitor part is kinda cool)
So it was just a 10 minute walk, if I recall, and I quite enjoyed it mostly because of the warning label on the machine, part of which read
“…if you experience any chest pains, dizziness, or shortness of breath, stop walking immediately….”.
Seriously. You couldn’t make this stuff up.
Anyway, he soon had me on short circuits (I think you call them?) of various machines working all sorts of muscles (for those of you who don’t know, each muscle actually has its own name, such as “Evil-Swine”, “Little Bastard”, and “Help-There’s-Lava-Under-My-Nipples”)
One advantage, I realised, of arriving really early, is that there are fewer people to disturb with my rattling of the gym-equipment as my muscles start giving up, throwing in the towel (this usually begins at around the 3rd or 4th curl or press or whatever).
Anyway, I more or less survived, though I think I’ve torn a ligament in my left pectoral. (Seriously, did you know you have ligaments *inside* your muscles? Cos you bloody well do! Ok?!)
I think the worst thing really though is that Suresh has insisted I eat breakfast. I’d just like to know, however, how I’m supposed to eat my oats when I can’t actually tear open the packet?
I’m supposed to be back again on Monday, but at least there’s a whole weekend to try organise an emergency passport and visa somewhere remote….