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Gym, a Brave New World March 26, 2009

Posted by baldricman in Baldric-Man, General.
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Brave? Bah! I barely held on to my dignity today. It was my first “real” gym session this morning (yesterday being just the assessment – read about it here). And as promised, I was up even earlier, to be at the gym at 5:45AM. (What the heck??)

So my personal trainer Suresh, bless his soul, starts me off with a light warm-up on the treadmill. Now, I haven’t done a lot of significant walking on my ankle for the past 6 months, and even though its fine, I’m still a bit tentative. Oh, and I’ve never been on a treadmill before. (They are the epitome of uselessness, in my opinion…. but I have to say, the heartrate monitor part is kinda cool)

So it was just a 10 minute walk, if I recall, and I quite enjoyed it mostly because of the warning label on the machine, part of which read
    “…if you experience any chest pains, dizziness, or shortness of breath, stop walking immediately….”. 
Seriously. You couldn’t make this stuff up. 

Anyway, he soon had me on short circuits (I think you call them?) of various machines working all sorts of muscles (for those of you who don’t know, each muscle actually has its own name, such as “Evil-Swine”, “Little Bastard”, and “Help-There’s-Lava-Under-My-Nipples”)

One advantage, I realised, of arriving really early, is that there are fewer people to disturb with my rattling of the gym-equipment as my muscles start giving up, throwing in the towel (this usually begins at around the 3rd or 4th curl or press or whatever).

Anyway, I more or less survived, though I think I’ve torn a ligament in my left pectoral. (Seriously, did you know you have ligaments *inside* your muscles? Cos you bloody well do! Ok?!)
I think the worst thing really though is that Suresh has insisted I eat breakfast. I’d just like to know, however, how I’m supposed to eat my oats when I can’t actually tear open the packet?

I’m supposed to be back again on Monday, but at least there’s a whole weekend to try organise an emergency passport and visa somewhere remote….

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Comments»

1. Monare - March 26, 2009

Run now while you still have the energy and strength, soon you will require some assistance to do anything in the house, even tossing and turning in bed or to getting up will be a mission impossible…

Suresh must go easy on you! (I think the inverse of that statement sounds much better 🙂 )

2. Cathrine - March 26, 2009

Hurhurhur… Suresh is your ali here. He’s molding you. I had a friend who ignored his gym instructor and just did the equipment he thought was important and now he’s upper body looks like a giant horse shoe 😉

3. Ryan - March 26, 2009

* Help-There’s-Lava-Under-My-Nipples… waaaaaaaaahahaha!!!! Ahem, seriously… you too?

4. Deems - March 26, 2009

If I were at home right now instead of at the office I’d be rolling around the floor laughing – classic – sorry, did I enjoy your pain too much? 😉

5. baldricman - March 26, 2009

Right, damn you all. I can’t stand up straight anymore, because my abdomen muscles have gone on strike. 😦

6. Jbyrd - March 26, 2009

Keep it up and soon you’ll love that feeling!

Check out GrowHuge.com and get a free Diet and Fitness Exercise Manager.

7. Ryan - March 27, 2009

Nah, your abdomen muscles haven’t gone on strike… that only happens with cesaerian sections. Ask Tammy. No sir, your abs are just downright lazy-ass flabs of fibre. SO GIVE ME TWENTY MORE SOLDIER!!!!

baldricman - March 27, 2009

You know, strangely, that wasn’t encouraging at all… 🙂
Update: my left arm is now completely unusable. I think they may have to amputate.

Deems - March 27, 2009

CLEAR! *sound of hedge-trimmer being fired up*

8. Gym, and other Things « Baldric’s Blog - April 30, 2009

[…] (First though, if you haven’t already, check out my earlier posts: Gym, the Final Frontier and Gym, a Brave New World) […]


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